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The Common Sense Prescription For Dealing With Fear


FEAR prompts you to fight or flee. It's how our brain is designed. Fear can destroy your chance of going after the things you really want.
I know because, for a long time, fear controlled my professional life. I was afraid to be social. I was afraid to start writing. I was afraid of being rejected. So, I missed a lot of great opportunities.

I tried to repress and deny my fear, but it was still there like a pack of relentless dogs chasing me. No amount of rationalization would calm me down.
But here's what I eventually learned:
The fear will never go away, but it can lose its grasp on you if you just admit that you are afraid, and ask for help.

When a child is afraid at night, what does he do? He screams and runs toward his parents' bedroom. He jumps in his mother's arms and falls asleep, almost instantly. He's not trying to pretend that he's not afraid laying in his bed, anxiously, for hours.

We wrongly assume that the opposite of courage is cowardice. But it's not true. The opposite of courage is conformism.

When I go out and see young people avoiding risks, pretending to act cool even when they're deprived of their rights, I know that they are afraid. They might not look like they are or even admit, but I know, because they are just conforming.

Our society (and especially millennials) have a problem with admitting that they're afraid. As a result, this creates more anxiety and stress. So, we just conform to feel safe, but we miss out on life.

So, what do we do?
First, we become OK with being afraid of failing, public ridicule, not loved, not liked, betrayed, etc. No need to pretend that the fear is not there. The fear is there. It's human, it's healthy. Repeat out loud, I have the right to feel afraid.

Second, start being open about it. If an idea or a project intimidates you, tell the members of your team. Don't pretend. If you're afraid to get started, call everyone and tell them you're afraid to launch out and why. Tell your friends you're afraid. You'll be amazed at how great you'll feel. Suddenly, the fear will stop crippling you.

Finally, keep this in mind:
FEAR = IGNORANCE.
When you've become OK with being afraid and open about it,
start educating yourself on the skills you need to reduce your ignorance. The more you learn about the project you're looking to undertake, the less fear you'll have.

Have an amazing day!
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