They engage in weighty efforts to build strong bonds, take responsibility for bringing out the best in each other, and are quick to patch the holes in their relationship. These consistent patterns revolve around the fundamental principles that I call the 10 commandments of a great marriage.
1. YOU SHALL FORGIVE EACH OTHER'S FAULT AND LEARN TO SAY SORRY
If there's anything you must learn early about relationship and marriage, it is to understand that love thrives on forgiveness.
It's paramount to constantly forgive your spouse for their eccentricities and annoying habits, and also forgive yourself for any mistakes you make if you truly want to be happy in your marriage.
The reason is this: we all have faults and shortcomings that we bring with us into marriage, and it is only when we accept each other's faults and learn to say sorry when we're wrong that we can engender a constant flow of effective communication.
In addition, it's important to be patient while expecting necessary adjustments from your spouse. It may take a while for our behaviour to fully adapt to changes. Therefore, you will need to be patient with your spouse or yourself for the necessary behavioural changes to manifest.
2. YOU SHALL COMMUNICATE HONESTLY IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE
Sometimes to keep your marriage relationship strong, you'd need to just come to the conclusion that the presence of your significant other in your life is more important than the little habits that drive you crazy.
Sometimes you may be tempted to bend the truth to avoid conflict, but your marriage relationship will be much healthier overall if honesty is held in high regard. Who says you can't be honest without being brutal?
The key is to be able to choose your words carefully and be as diplomatic as possible, while still sharing your feelings openly and honestly.
3. YOU SHALL HAVE CLARITY ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MATTER
Understanding the little things that really matter is what separates great marriages from mediocre ones. Two great examples would be constantly complimenting your partner and learning to be appreciative of their efforts. What this means is that when your spouse does something impressive, you should be appreciative and not fail to acknowledge their contribution to the marriage venture.
Most marriages these days FAIL, when partners don't pay enough attention to the emotional needs of their spouse.
Most focus on social media, ministry or their career that they allow their marriage to suffer.
If there's anything you must learn early about relationship and marriage, it is to understand that love thrives on forgiveness.
It's paramount to constantly forgive your spouse for their eccentricities and annoying habits, and also forgive yourself for any mistakes you make if you truly want to be happy in your marriage.
The reason is this: we all have faults and shortcomings that we bring with us into marriage, and it is only when we accept each other's faults and learn to say sorry when we're wrong that we can engender a constant flow of effective communication.
In addition, it's important to be patient while expecting necessary adjustments from your spouse. It may take a while for our behaviour to fully adapt to changes. Therefore, you will need to be patient with your spouse or yourself for the necessary behavioural changes to manifest.
2. YOU SHALL COMMUNICATE HONESTLY IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE
Sometimes to keep your marriage relationship strong, you'd need to just come to the conclusion that the presence of your significant other in your life is more important than the little habits that drive you crazy.
Sometimes you may be tempted to bend the truth to avoid conflict, but your marriage relationship will be much healthier overall if honesty is held in high regard. Who says you can't be honest without being brutal?
The key is to be able to choose your words carefully and be as diplomatic as possible, while still sharing your feelings openly and honestly.
3. YOU SHALL HAVE CLARITY ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MATTER
Understanding the little things that really matter is what separates great marriages from mediocre ones. Two great examples would be constantly complimenting your partner and learning to be appreciative of their efforts. What this means is that when your spouse does something impressive, you should be appreciative and not fail to acknowledge their contribution to the marriage venture.
Marriages often fail because of perceived differences in the level of
contribution of each party. Therefore, you should make it a priority to
appreciate the other person's contributions, whether they are financial
or emotional.
Compliment your partner at least once every day. This leads to a healthy relationship, and it is the right thing to do, because your partner is probably doing many good things every day.
4. YOU SHALL INVEST IN CONTINUOUS MARRIAGE EDUCATION
Somebody once said that there is no graduation in the school of marriage, and I totally agree with him. From short courses in understanding love languages to elaborate coursework in positive parenting, the school of marriage leaves you with no option than to continue to learn and relearn. Trouble is only likely to set in when you think you've had enough education in marriage and begin to relent in further knowledge acquisition.
Reading books on marriage, bedroom skills, and communication techniques will help your marriage a great deal. Getting your spouse to read them is even better.
So what if you're not a fan of books?
Well, all hope is not lost!
Tuning in to marriage programs on TV, listening to audio messages on marriage, attending marriage seminars and conferences will equally yield tremendous results.
5. YOU SHALL WORK HARD TOGETHER TO CREATE FINANCIAL SECURITY
One of the signs of a great marriage is the creation of a strong economic joint venture. As a matter of fact, any marriage that is devoid of problems has a strong financial base, in addition to other factors.
Financial security is one of the things that lets you feel good about each other and the world. It will also be a measure of the good work you've both done as responsible partners. Therefore, you should work hard together to call forth riches by using financial planning, leverage and creating of a passive, cash-flowing "Money System".
6. YOU SHALL LEARN TO KISS, HOLD HANDS AND SAY "I LOVE YOU"
If there's one thing you should never stop doing in your marriage, it is to let your partner know your affection is for real. How do you do that?
Simply kiss, cuddle and verbalize the three magical words "I love you".
8. YOU SHALL CREATE SPECIAL TIME FOR FAMILY FUNCompliment your partner at least once every day. This leads to a healthy relationship, and it is the right thing to do, because your partner is probably doing many good things every day.
4. YOU SHALL INVEST IN CONTINUOUS MARRIAGE EDUCATION
Somebody once said that there is no graduation in the school of marriage, and I totally agree with him. From short courses in understanding love languages to elaborate coursework in positive parenting, the school of marriage leaves you with no option than to continue to learn and relearn. Trouble is only likely to set in when you think you've had enough education in marriage and begin to relent in further knowledge acquisition.
Reading books on marriage, bedroom skills, and communication techniques will help your marriage a great deal. Getting your spouse to read them is even better.
So what if you're not a fan of books?
Well, all hope is not lost!
Tuning in to marriage programs on TV, listening to audio messages on marriage, attending marriage seminars and conferences will equally yield tremendous results.
5. YOU SHALL WORK HARD TOGETHER TO CREATE FINANCIAL SECURITY
One of the signs of a great marriage is the creation of a strong economic joint venture. As a matter of fact, any marriage that is devoid of problems has a strong financial base, in addition to other factors.
Financial security is one of the things that lets you feel good about each other and the world. It will also be a measure of the good work you've both done as responsible partners. Therefore, you should work hard together to call forth riches by using financial planning, leverage and creating of a passive, cash-flowing "Money System".
6. YOU SHALL LEARN TO KISS, HOLD HANDS AND SAY "I LOVE YOU"
If there's one thing you should never stop doing in your marriage, it is to let your partner know your affection is for real. How do you do that?
Simply kiss, cuddle and verbalize the three magical words "I love you".
As a matter of fact, it is suggested you kiss and say 'I love you' to
your spouse several times a week in order to build deeper intimacy. In
addition, it's important to develop love and intimacy rituals like
scheduling romance or going on romantic dates, especially if you're
perpetually too busy with ministry and career.
7. YOU SHALL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WORKING ON YOUR MARRIAGE AND JUST BEING IN IT
There's a huge difference between just being "IN" a marriage relationship and actually working "ON" the relationship. The latter involves taking time together to design what would look like an ideal relationship and setting parameters and a plan to get to that outcome.
Like you already know, marriage isn't easy. Building a strong marriage takes time, effort, and maturity. But it's worth it. That is why you must collaborate to work things out.
Design a plan for everything you want to achieve in your marriage within a specific timeframe and be committed to contributing your own quota.
Working on your marriage could also be seen in terms of sacrificing for your spouse. Whether it's helping them move, helping them with domestic chores or being a sounding board for a difficult decision, any marriage relationship worth having requires some forms of sacrifices. And a sign of working on your marriage is your ability to make those sacrifices.
7. YOU SHALL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WORKING ON YOUR MARRIAGE AND JUST BEING IN IT
There's a huge difference between just being "IN" a marriage relationship and actually working "ON" the relationship. The latter involves taking time together to design what would look like an ideal relationship and setting parameters and a plan to get to that outcome.
Like you already know, marriage isn't easy. Building a strong marriage takes time, effort, and maturity. But it's worth it. That is why you must collaborate to work things out.
Design a plan for everything you want to achieve in your marriage within a specific timeframe and be committed to contributing your own quota.
Working on your marriage could also be seen in terms of sacrificing for your spouse. Whether it's helping them move, helping them with domestic chores or being a sounding board for a difficult decision, any marriage relationship worth having requires some forms of sacrifices. And a sign of working on your marriage is your ability to make those sacrifices.
Most marriages these days FAIL, when partners don't pay enough attention to the emotional needs of their spouse.
Most focus on social media, ministry or their career that they allow their marriage to suffer.
Don't let that be you. Create time for the family to be together and
have fun. Be creative in your selection of fun activities. There are
usually loads of places locally that you and your family can equally
enjoy spending time. Museums, parks, cinemas and other entertainment
centres are always good choices. And these things don't have to be
expensive.
Who said cleaning together, cooking and fixing things around the house cannot all be converted to fun activities while also accomplishing the tasks faster?
9. YOU SHALL NOT FORGET BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES
For some men, celebrating birthdays and anniversaries may not really mean anything, but it's not so with women. I remember how my mum once lashed out at everyone in the family because we forgot her birthday.
Don't ever take birthdays likely with women. It means so much to them. And the same applies to special anniversaries.
Do your best to give your missus a treat she'll hardly forget on her birthday.
And for the women, if there’s something your hubby likes, offer it as a gift on his birthday or an anniversary. It can be something small: a date to a nearby park, a ride to a tourist centre, or maybe a favourite food from the grocery store.
10. YOU SHALL PURSUE AND ACTIVATE DIVINE PURPOSE TOGETHER
Part of the divine purpose for your marriage is to raise Godly children. It's therefore, your responsibility to reflect on effective ways of achieving this.
In addition, marriage is a journey of two lovers helping each other to fulfil destiny. What this implies is that you have a part to play in the life and ministry of your spouse. And so, it's important to foster each other in all ramifications. Sometimes answering the call to ministry is scary and need to be carefully evaluated. Do the work together.
And don't forget, you can't effectively activate purpose without engaging your family in the ministry of the word and prayer.
So that's it! If you've been blessed by this. Feel free to share.
Who said cleaning together, cooking and fixing things around the house cannot all be converted to fun activities while also accomplishing the tasks faster?
9. YOU SHALL NOT FORGET BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES
For some men, celebrating birthdays and anniversaries may not really mean anything, but it's not so with women. I remember how my mum once lashed out at everyone in the family because we forgot her birthday.
Don't ever take birthdays likely with women. It means so much to them. And the same applies to special anniversaries.
Do your best to give your missus a treat she'll hardly forget on her birthday.
And for the women, if there’s something your hubby likes, offer it as a gift on his birthday or an anniversary. It can be something small: a date to a nearby park, a ride to a tourist centre, or maybe a favourite food from the grocery store.
10. YOU SHALL PURSUE AND ACTIVATE DIVINE PURPOSE TOGETHER
Part of the divine purpose for your marriage is to raise Godly children. It's therefore, your responsibility to reflect on effective ways of achieving this.
In addition, marriage is a journey of two lovers helping each other to fulfil destiny. What this implies is that you have a part to play in the life and ministry of your spouse. And so, it's important to foster each other in all ramifications. Sometimes answering the call to ministry is scary and need to be carefully evaluated. Do the work together.
And don't forget, you can't effectively activate purpose without engaging your family in the ministry of the word and prayer.
So that's it! If you've been blessed by this. Feel free to share.
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